How You Can Promote Inclusivity During Pride Month (& Beyond)

 

Along with the sweltering heatwaves here in North Carolina, June is also known as Pride month. Born out of the Stonewall riots that gripped New York City in the summer of 1969, today’s pride celebrations are a stark contrast to the civil unrest that took hold of the city that year. 

 

Just one year after the initial movement in New York, pride parades started popping up throughout the country in major cities like Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. Since then, these displays have become not only common, but a vital part of the global LGBTQ+ community. Today, pride celebrations happen across all 50 states, and around the world.

 

While many use this time as an opportunity to celebrate the LGBTQ+ community (and we definitely should), it also marks the slow progress made for those who have suffered discrimination and ostracization for centuries. In an ever-evolving environment, we must remember the ultimate objective: To create a culture of inclusivity and acceptance for all.

 

We encourage you to recognize the impact that LGBTQ+ individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally — not just this month, but daily — and reflect on what this means to you. 

 

Reflecting on Pride Month at Bennett College 

 

At Bennett College, we believe taking the time to listen, reflect, and act leads to the most forward-thinking policies. In fact, we were the first single-gender HBCU to establish a transgender policy (accepting all people who identify as women). While we have established more inclusive processes and guidelines (that we are proud to uphold), that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement. We continually look for opportunities to expand and adapt to the ever-changing environment — with the help of our students, of course.

 

When it comes to creating an inclusive environment, we always come back to our community. As a proud student-led institution, students have the opportunity to help create, shape, and foster an open environment where all feel welcome.

 

One way we can begin to be more welcoming, as one of our students Genesis Almodovar shared last semester, is to learn about the use of pronouns today. With the increase in gender identity discussions, it is important to be mindful that pronoun usage is done respectfully and to not presume you know a person’s preferred pronouns. As Genesis, whose pronouns are she/her, said, “It is important not to judge people by how they look — it can be hurtful to be called by the wrong pronouns.” So we wanted to offer our perspective on this issue.

 

Proper Pronoun Usage

 

You may have noticed recently that more and more people list their pronouns after their name — such as on LinkedIn, in their email signature, on name tags at conferences, and in other places. For example, if you have ever been on Zoom with or received an email from President Walsh, you will see that after Suzanne Walsh, it says “she/her.” So why all the fuss?

 

As the National Institute of Health said, “Words are powerful language tools that help us convey meaning and connect. We use words to communicate, characterize, and describe everything around us. Nothing may be more personal than the words people use to refer to us through our names and pronouns.”

 

Pronoun usage in relation to gender identity can be a multilayered topic. For some, stating pronouns may seem obvious and unnecessary, while for others they provide clarity and comfort. Regardless of which end of the spectrum you fall on, it’s our job to ensure our Belles are comfortable both on- and off-campus, so they’re also ready for these discussions in the workplace.

 

As gender expression becomes a more openly discussed and fluid topic, it has become common to ask someone about their preferred pronouns as a way to create an inclusive and respectful environment. This seemingly harmless behavior may seem progressive to ensure you are addressing your peers correctly. However, this forward request may make some people uncomfortable, and here’s why. 

 

Pronoun Etiquette

 

What Are Gender Pronouns?

Let’s start with a quick grammar lesson. A pronoun is a word used to replace a noun in a sentence. We use them to refer to something or someone. Typically, pronouns are either singular or plural. Some languages, like English and Spanish, have gendered pronouns. In English, we use “he” to refer to male nouns, “she” for female nouns, and “it/they” for nouns with no or indeterminate gender. The traditional use of “he/she” in English to refer to people assumes that gender is binary, and that people are either male or female. But in truth, gender exists on a spectrum. People can identify as male, female, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, or any number or other gender-expansive identities.

Is It Ok To Ask People’s Pronouns?

Yes! In fact, this is a practice that we should all become more comfortable with. Asking for someone’s pronouns upfront shows that you are being considerate and open-minded. It is very important to create a safe environment thoughtful about the lived experience of those you are interacting with. If you are unsure of someone’s pronouns, it is typically acceptable to use ‘they/them/theirs’.

What If Someone Doesn’t Want To Share Their Pronouns?

That’s totally fine. A student may come out to their peers here on campus, but not to their family back home. Or, a person could be transitioning and have not decided what their new pronouns will be. For trans and nonbinary students, pronoun usage can sometimes be a complicated issue. Asking someone in one of these states to define their pronouns may make them uncomfortable, and the last thing we (or you) want to do is define someone before they have defined themselves.

Instead, pronoun usage should be left to the discretion of the individual. If they choose to share their preferred pronouns, they are inviting you to address them that way and we will fully support the terms chosen. However, if anyone is uncomfortable deciding or defining their pronouns on a particular day, that choice should be left solely up to them, and again, we will fully support this decision. A good practice to get into is stating your pronouns first, so the other individual has the option to share theirs as well, or refrain. 

 

So, we encourage you to be mindful when a student, peer, or anyone shares these personal details with you, as they can vary significantly from what they’ve shared with others — whether at college or at home. 

 

Should I Share My Pronouns Even If I’m Not Trans/Non-Binary?

 

Absolutely! Sharing your pronouns is a great way to challenge the norm for assuming someone’s pronouns, and to create space for everyone to share their pronouns, especially for trans, queer, and/or non-binary people.

 

Diversity comes in all shapes, colors, sizes, ethnicities, and gender expressions. And inclusion is about freedom, the freedom to access opportunities and resources, especially for those who might otherwise have been excluded or marginalized. 

 

Here at Bennett College, we believe that inclusion and freedom of choice go hand in hand.

 

Glossary Of Terms

 

With the influx of these new conversations, we know there are a lot of terms swirling around that you may not be familiar with. As much as pronouns have become a topic of discussion in today’s society, so have other gender expression terms that we should be familiar with.

 

Here is a short list of commonly used terms in today’s LGBTQ+ community:

 

• Gender — One’s characteristics that are determined by socially constructed norms.
• Sex — One’s characteristics that are biologically defined.
• Sexual Orientation — Relates to the gender or genders to which one is sexually attracted.
• Gender Identity — One’s personal sense of having a particular gender.
• Gender Expression — How one expresses their gender identity, through appearance and behavior.
• Gender Fluidity — Change over time in one’s gender expression or gender identity.

• Gender Dysphoria — A feeling of discomfort that one may experience because of a mismatch between biological sex and gender identity.
• Gender Expansive — One who does not follow gender stereotypes or who expands ideas of gender expression or gender identity.
• Gender Transition — The process of shifting toward a gender role different from that assigned at birth.
• Transgender — One whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.
• Cisgender — One whose sense of personal identity and gender does correspond with their birth sex.
• Agender — One who does not identify with having a particular gender.
• Non-Binary — An umbrella term for one whose gender identities are not solely male or female.
• Intersex — One who has both male and female sex characteristics. 

 

If you would like to learn more, Johns Hopkins University has an extensive list of defined terms you can familiarize yourself with.

 

Everyone deserves the respect of being referred to in a way that aligns with how they see themselves. We recognize that many people may be learning about gender pronouns for the first time, so this will be a learning opportunity for the Bennett College community. By learning and applying, you will set an example for how we can all be inclusive and welcoming to every member of the Bennett College community.

 

Small Things You Can Do To Make A Difference

 

So how can you get started? These key points from the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence is the perfect checklist to ensure you are affirming people with their correct pronoun usage of choice.

 

• First, know that it is likely you will make a mistake. If so, apologize, correct yourself, and move on.
• If you hear someone using the incorrect pronoun, you can gently correct them.
• Avoid assuming people’s gender identity (who they know themselves to be on the inside) based on their gender expression (what they present on the outside).
• If you are in a group setting, avoid using terms like guys/ladies; try using neutral terms like people, folks, y’all, or yinz.
• The best way to avoid mistakes is to practice using gender-neutral pronouns whenever and wherever you can, or refer to people by their name.

This list is a great start in ensuring our Bennett College community is a warm, welcoming, inclusive environment for all. We’d love for you to join the conversation and comment on our Instagram post here.